A Letter to Fellow Future Brides

Dear Beautiful Bride,

Yes, I can say from my heart that you are beautiful without having ever met you or seen you. The man that asked you to marry him thinks that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, so if you are engaged, I can say with complete confidence that you are beautiful. Whether you feel beautiful or not, always remember that you are to the one whose opinion matters!

As your date approaches, I'm sure you are getting stressed out. You may be having the thoughts that many women do: "Am I marrying the right person?" or "Am I ready to settle down and get married?" Maybe you are completely sure that you are ready and with the right man but you are nervous for other reasons. "Do I have enough money to raise a family?" or "How will I pay for the wedding?" Those are pretty common questions women ask themselves days and weeks before the big event.

Honestly, nerves are part of the process. Doubting yourself, doubting your partner, and/or doubting your relationship are all totally normal. Don't throw it away on a whim because a thought popped through your head that scared you. If you don't stress about your wedding, I think something might be wrong with you. The fact of the matter is, getting married (and staying married) is not an easy task. You have to prepare yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and monetarily.

If you don't have much money to throw a big bash, then don't. A lot of people might say it's worth it to pay for it on credit, but that's just not true. If you want to celebrate with people, invite them to the wedding and don't have a reception. It may not be ideal, but you don't want to spend the next 30 years of your marriage paying off those $80 plates of salmon for 200 guests because you couldn't cut down the list. After the wedding is over, you should be able to be done stressing about paying for the wedding, not paying for it for the rest of your life. If you DO have the money for that kind of party, then go for it.

If you are looking for easy ways to cut costs, I can tell you so many. 

• Flowers. If you find a pretty enough venue, you honestly don't need much more than the flowers for the wedding party. Flowers alone can cost as much as tens of thousands; that's BEFORE counting the flowers at the reception! 
• Depending on the formality, get the bridesmaids non-floor length dresses, as they cost a good deal less. 
• If the groom wears a nice suit instead of a tux, don't fret. A suit looks good if it fits him properly and is not powder blue. Tuxes can be a few hundred to rent and a few thousand to buy.
• You can buy a dress off the rack at a bridal store and try for one that will need minimal alterations. If you can't find one you love, don't settle, but don't expect too much either.
• Have a buffet style meal instead of those outrageous 6 course (or more) sit down meals with expensive catering.
• Don't have a huge rehearsal dinner. Honestly, if you are having a reception after the wedding, do all of your guests need TWO huge meals at your expense?

• Have a small wedding with only close family and friends and have the big one you always dreamed of in 10 years when you can afford it and renew your vows then. It's a great way to remind your spouse of how much you still love them.

Just remember Bride, your wedding is NOT about just you, no matter what other people may say. It is about you AND your new spouse. It is about your marriage and your love. Don't make it a day to show off and get dressed up, make it a day that people will remember witnessing a commitment of love! You'd rather people remember your wedding by how happy you were, not how good the music or food was. No matter how big or small your wedding is, you will be walking out of that church/park/beach/hotel as a woman with a new husband. Your love will be just as strong, even if you have to make sacrifices to get to where you are.

The Bigger Picture

It's hard when you have two weddings: the one you plan in your head and the one that actually happens. As you might expect, the one in your head will probably not happen when you get married young, like me. We thought we had it all figured out, but no; we were stuck in a daze dreaming of what we wanted, not what we could actually have.

Jonathan and I have come to terms with the fact that we're not going to be able to get everything we'd like. We're not even going to be getting half of what we'd like. We're struggling to find a place to live at a price we can afford, so here is a list of changes we decided to make to make surviving possible:

• Cancel the more expensive apartment we wanted
• Cancel the more expensive ring and go with one $200 cheaper
• Cancel the photographer
• Cancel the professional cake
• Cancel any "real food" (just desserts)
• Cancel cake made by a family friend for considerably less
• Cancel reception

Making all of these changes is hard for me, especially since I already bought my perfect invitations and will now have to buy new ones that do not invite people to a reception we are not having. Luckily, I am not too terribly upset by any of this. Yes, I am a little disappointed that I planned so much stuff that is not going to happen. Yes, I am a little upset that it is going to be very different than how I always imagined it. However, if I look at the bigger picture, I know that I will be marrying the love of my life on October 26th, with or without the nicer ring or the pretty wedding cake or getting to have the first dance.

At the end of the day, it's not dancing or partying or having nicer jewelry that matters to me. I will be married to the love of my life, and that's what I care about. I will have over 50 years to tell him how much I love and appreciate him. I will be able to spend my entire life telling him that the fact that he even wanted me to have my dream wedding means so much to me. I can't imagine anyone being as good to me as he is and I know with all of my heart that I am making the right decision.

To all of you women out there who have already met the love of your life: don't take them for granted. Make sure they never forget you love them, because losing sight of that is such a horrible thing. Make sure they know that you never want to be with anyone else.

My New Mantra

I had a meltdown today. The stress had just piled up on me so much and I finally erupted. Money is very tight and things are getting difficult, this month especially. I'm realizing that the wedding is getting to be very close and we have no place to live yet! Planning a wedding is all fun and games-- until it isn't. My mom said I had a few options of what I could do: Option 1. We cut the guest list and have the reception somewhere cheaper or have no reception at all. Option 2. We make sacrifices and not buy the rings we picked out or get the apartments we wanted. Option 3. Push back the wedding date.

Holy moly, that third option is scary. What bride gets to counting down the days and then realizes they might have to wait several more months, if not longer, and is happy about it? Well, not this one. I will do ANYTHING I can to avoid pushing back the date. I've worked too hard for it. What I am thinking is that maybe we have a family-only no-host reception at a restaurant. I know it's kinda tacky, but my family knows my situation and that I can't afford to pay for that much food. Maybe no reception at all. If we did that, we'd get our $500 back; that would be nice...

Anyway, my father has been telling me four words that every engaged/married couple needs to have memorized to be happy and make it paycheck to paycheck: "We can't afford it." He tells me to repeat it over and over to myself and make it my mantra. He says it doesn't matter if I get the slightly nicer ring, as long as I am walking out of that day with a good husband. He's right, I will have an amazing husband.

Myself and the bridesmaids made our first big money saver: changing their dresses. We were already going to go with some FAIRLY inexpensive ones, but it was just too much considering the urgency of needing to order them. I will end up paying a little less for all three than I was going to pay for each. Well, that will help bring stress levels down drastically!

Anyway, my meltdown has ended and I seem to be somewhat rational again. Now I am going to go to bed and dream for a few hours that everything might be perfect someday.

To anyone that actually reads this, goodnight.

And The Countdown Has Begun!

I am getting married in exactly 10 weeks! Give or take a few hours... I'm sure every woman remembers the countdown. Some women start counting down as soon as the date is set and some women start at various dates back (1 month, 2 months, 10 weeks, 100 days, etc.) I'm honestly not sure when I started counting down, but I think it was 2-3 weeks ago. I keep track of how many weeks and days. 70 days, folks!

Counting down really makes me more aware of how fast the wait is going. I keep thinking, "Really, it's already another week closer?" Being aware of how fast it's going also has it's downsides, though. It's really coming up on me and I'm all of a sudden getting nervous! That's normal though, so no need to worry. Some days I wish it were tomorrow though.

If the wedding would hurry up and get here, I would not have to worry about him backing out at the last minute. My constant insecurities cause me to permanently think of myself as not good enough for anyone. Luckily, my dearest Jonathan thinks that I AM good enough for him, so I don't have any REAL worries about him leaving me at the last minute. Right now we need to focus more on last minute preparations and arrangements (food, weight loss/dress alterations, tux rentals, tablecloth rentals, etc.) so we have no time to worry about who deserves who!

Now that the wedding is as close as it is, here are the things that we absolutely NEED to get done in the next month to make sure they're done in time and we can afford them:

• Order bridesmaids dresses
• Look for a place to live
• Send out invitations
• Finish paying off my ring (hopefully as a birthday gift?)
• Pay back my mom the bit of cash I owe her
• Put together our registry on Amazon.com (we have been putting it off for far too long)
• Start ACTUALLY trying to fit into my dress

We've got most of everything planned, but not all of it is ready for action. We'll get there soon. Just having it planned is a huge leap forward, though! Hopefully we can figure it all out on time. Fingers crossed.

Now, who wants to see the invitations we've picked out and ordered? They got here about a month ago and I have been waiting for 8-9 weeks out to send them. I know some people say send at 6 weeks out, but most of our family guests live in other states so we figured sending a little early would be best. Anyway, 6 weeks just doesn't seem like enough time to make travel arrangements to me.

Crossed out names and super-identifying information for obvious reasons.

 

If any of you like this invitation, then I strongly urge you to buy any large quantities of paper goods on Vista Print's website. I really liked their selection and my ability to change any of the wording, font, and font size on the invitations! They've got a great selection of lower priced stuff and higher priced stuff. For 90 of these we only paid $56, what a steal! They've constantly got amazing deals going on, which is how we got these so cheap.

Anyway, sorry for going so long without posting on here. I hope that a few of my subscribers are still interested in reading about my journey to the isle. I will try to update more often in the next 10 weeks!

Thanks for reading!